Blog

Over the weekend, I watched Adolescence on Netflix with my teenage daughters. Since then, I’ve had conversations with friends, clients, fellow school governors, nieces, nephews, and read countless posts and comments. My daughters and I keep discussing it. And I keep coming back to the same thought:

It’s been a long time since a programme has so powerfully drawn attention to the systemic impact of the world we are creating – and leaving – for our children.

This series is more than just a drama. It’s a reflection of what is happening in our homes, schools, streets, and communities. It highlights the unspoken, the uncomfortable, and the urgent.

And it forces us to ask: How did we get here?

Let’s Break It Down

The Boy: A Generation in Crisis

• The series centres around a teenage boy deeply influenced by toxic masculinity, online radicalisation, and the dark corners of incel culture.
• He is isolated, struggling, and being raised in a virtual world filled with dangerous ideologies.
• Where are the real-life mentors, role models, and safe spaces for ALL young boys to explore their emotions, vulnerabilities, and self-worth?
• The pull of influencers like Andrew Tate, who exploit young men’s insecurities, is strong often because they offer a sense of belonging and purpose – something our systems have failed to provide.

Boys are searching for meaning. But what happens when they find it in all the wrong places?

The Girls: Bullying, Beauty Standards & the Loss of Kindness

• The way girls treat each other in this series is disturbing, but sadly, not surprising.
• Mocking others has become a social currency. Being cruel is “cool.” Kindness is rare.
• And then there’s the beauty obsession – just look at TikTok. The endless repetition of pouts, stroking hair, forced aesthetics. Girls being sexualised from far too young an age.
• Where did this pressure come from? And more importantly – how do we shift it?

We talk a lot about empowering young girls – but are we helping them develop self-worth beyond their appearance?

All Genders: Social Pressures & Identity Struggles

• Many young people, regardless of gender, are struggling to define themselves in a world that forces them into narrow boxes.
• The pressure to perform, to fit in, to either conform or rebel in extreme ways – it’s exhausting.
• Social media is shaping how they see themselves and each other, distorting self-worth and connection.
• Mental health challenges are rising, but access to support isn’t keeping up.

Where are the safe spaces for young people to explore who they are, without fear, shame, or pressure?

The Classroom: The Silent Battleground

• Teachers are expected to hold everything together, but they are overwhelmed.
• Students arrive in the classroom carrying stress, trauma, and external pressures that make it nearly impossible to focus.
• How do you teach a child who is being bullied? How do you engage a student who spends their nights lost in the dark corners of the internet?
• Behavioural issues, emotional outbursts, disengagement – teachers are dealing with all of this on top of the pressure to meet academic targets.
• And what about the students who want to learn? How can they thrive in an environment where disruption is the norm?

Are we expecting teachers to be educators, social workers, therapists, and disciplinarians all at once?

The Parents: Who Is Supporting Them?

• This series doesn’t just show struggling children – it shows struggling parents.
• Look at the father: a man clearly carrying deep wounds from his own childhood, with no real support.
• His unprocessed trauma spills into his family life – his wife and daughter tiptoe around him, careful not to trigger him further when he gets angry.
• And the mother? She’s cushioning the blows, absorbing the impact, trying to hold everything together while seemingly getting lost in the process.

What support do these parents need? Who is guiding them? Who is helping them heal?

The Marriages: What Are We Teaching About Relationships?

• This couple is modelling a relationship for their children – but what kind?
• What are they teaching their kids about love, partnership, expectations, and tolerance?
• When conflict arises, how do they resolve it? What are they modelling for their children around what to give, take and tolerate in relationships? What about self-worth and self-care?
• So many marriages need help – yet counselling is often seen as a last resort rather than a proactive step toward a healthier family. It’s also not affordable for all and for deeply unhealthy and unresolvable differences, divorce is still not an option for many.

If we don’t intervene, unhealthy patterns repeat across generations.

The Families & The Systemic Impact

• This story isn’t just about one family – it’s about all families struggling under societal pressures.
• The cost-of-living crisis is breaking families apart. Parents are working multiple jobs just to survive.
• That means less time at home, less guidance, less emotional availability. Meanwhile, children retreat into their screens, being raised by algorithms.
• And when trouble arises, justice is not always fair. I wonder what the outcome of the legal case would be? If this family could afford better legal representation, would the outcome be different?
• I’ve seen it firsthand. A friend’s son, bullied by way more privileged boys, finally retaliated – and let’s just say, the sentencing was unfair and did not fall in his favour.

The system is not built to protect everyone equally. And that is a problem.

So Where Do We Go From Here?

As a systems practitioner, I can’t help but step back and look at the bigger picture. This is not just a story – it’s a reflection of what is happening all around us.

The cracks are everywhere: ✔️ Parents who need therapy but can’t afford it. ✔️ Families who need intervention but don’t know where to turn. ✔️ Marriages that need support but are left to unravel. ✔️ Children who need guidance but are being raised by social media. ✔️ A justice system that favours wealth over fairness.

We must all check ourselves.

As custodians of this world – as parents, decision-makers, policymakers, teachers, mentors, privileged ones, uncles, aunts, and guides – we all have a role to play in shaping a better world for our children.

So I ask you: What role (however small) are you playing and what role will you play in taking care of the next generation?