Blog

Twenty years ago, I was the one holding the clipboard, scouting for top grads as part of the IBD recruitment team at Morgan Stanley. Some of those very new recruits: people I had the power to select or pass over – are now my clients, my boardroom colleagues, and my friends. It’s funny how life circles back. Sometimes, I tease them about those early days: “Remember when I hired you?” Now it’s their turn to interview me or refer my company to their peers!

So why do they invite me to pitch, after all this time?

Because we’ve kept it real. Because we’ve stayed connected, lifted each other up, and respected each other beyond the limits of job titles or hierarchy. We’ve celebrated wins, big and small, even if just by cheering each other on from LinkedIn posts and profile updates. It’s a lesson my parents and communities instilled in me, one I learned growing up in Nigeria:

“Treat people right, and respect them for who they are.”

In our communities back home, it wasn’t just my family raising us; everyone – from our neighbours, friends’ parents, aunties, uncles, my parents’ colleagues to the nurses at their hospital – was part of that responsibility. They could pull my siblings and me in line or cheer us on, depending on what was needed.

We respected them not just because of their role, but because they were human beings with authority, experience and wisdom to share. It was about community – a concept I think we’ve lost a bit in the corporate (& beyond) world. Imagine if we ran our teams, our workplaces, and our boardrooms with that same respect and collective responsibility.

And my daughters? They get it. They feel it in the little community we’ve built here. They laugh when our community members and people they barely know greet them, wave, or ask how they’re doing. Our cleaner is “Aunty A”. She spends more time sharing stories with us than anything else, marvels as they share their achievements with her, and she brings us the yummiest home-cooked meals! These are my people and relationships that I have built and nurtured here. Something I didn’t have when I moved here to the UK 25 years ago; not knowing anyone. Trust me, that struggle was real and it’s not one I will pass on to my children.

So, we must invest in one another, break down mindset-imposed barriers and honour one another as humans first before job titles, roles & hierachy.

Some Leadership Tips:

1. Stay Humble: Don’t let hierarchy fool you: today’s intern might be tomorrow’s CEO, your boss, your client or your peer. They might even hire your children!

2. Build Genuine Relationships: Check in with people, celebrate their wins, listen when they’re struggling and be there for them as/when you can.

3. See the Person, Not Just the Role: Titles don’t define worth. Look beyond the surface to the unique person behind it.

4. Treat People Right:Respect is earned by how we treat others, not the role(s) we hold.

So, for every leader out there, remember: People first, positions second. Don’t let hierarchy stop you from building real connections, from leading with humility and kindness, because life has a way of flipping those tables when you least expect it.

The real legacy? Not our titles, but the people we’ve uplifted and empowered.